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the cult.

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([1] [love him so.])

[08 Jun 2006|08:39pm]

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worship timeCollapse )

([2] [love him so.])

hello from the future [08 Jan 2024|03:34pm]

[ mood | futuristic ]

this is satan... im posting from the future to let you all know jakism failed horribly...


  doogie is god here.. and i'm his friend

([2] [love him so.])

[04 Nov 2004|03:42pm]


([love him so.])

[29 Aug 2004|11:27am]

happy jake day everyone.

i think jake needs some chucky cheese action.

most definately.


([love him so.])

hell's bells [29 Aug 2004|11:01am]

happy birthday jake

love satan

([1] [love him so.])

[22 Aug 2004|01:21pm]

god has finally told me my purpose in life.

([16] [love him so.])

...Look upon him and know his face... [18 Aug 2004|04:45pm]

[ mood | High off Satan ]

fools...herlading to Jacob, shouting his name with joy. All fools. Jacob has not offered anything, he does not bring forth to you ice cream, unmeltable and in flavors unimaginably delicious. He does not bid you welcome to a winter wonderland of hell with poofy clouds, nor does he raise arms against canada and make the world safe against such horrible musicians from that barren snowy north as celine dion or avril lavigne. No, Jacob cares not, he lives only for your praise, it is all he cares for, wheter you are happy or not is not of his mind. As long as you keep bowing and scraping and toiling for him you shall not face his wrath. Though as soon as you look away he shall lay waste upon you, plaguing the land and killing at whim. But there is another. One who can do away with the wrath of Jacob and knows nothing but caring, kindness, and generosity to his people. He will give you all the things Jacob does not, and much more that Jacob can not. Gaze upon his beautiful face and know that he is here to save you. Soon he shall no longer be the "dark" side of Jacobism, but the light to which all turn towards for guidance. Soon all shall love and praise the name of Satan.


([love him so.])

[17 Aug 2004|09:34pm]


([1] [love him so.])

your taking over my friends list [17 Aug 2004|01:39pm]

[ mood | thoughtful ]

YOU- jake...are taking over my friends list and most likely do not even know it. Im watching you *shakes fist*


([love him so.])

[17 Aug 2004|09:44am]

you are beautiful beyond description
too marvelous for words
too wonderful for comprehension
like nothing ever seen or heard.

who can grasp your infinite wisdom
who can fathom the depth of our love
you are beautiful beyond description
majesty enthroned above.

and i stand, i stand in awe of you
to whom all praise is due
i stand in awe of you.

([3] [love him so.])

[31 Jul 2004|12:46pm]


([9] [love him so.])

[22 Jul 2004|10:08pm]

alright, on account of no one posts here, celine dion is now an interest, and well general "no one really worships jake"-ness I've decided to either leave here or go follow the beastly horned guy with the ice cream. just need to choose which...
a-hum... any suggestions...anyone?

([1] [love him so.])

[18 Jul 2004|09:30pm]

i miss you.

([5] [love him so.])

Haru?...Haru? [10 Jul 2004|08:06pm]

[ mood | curious ]

ya know I was thinking about it long and hard
and how can I even be sure that Bokaj is all powerful and whatnot when he's never even offered me any ice cream flavor I want, even those that don't exist? I mean I'm sure he's powerful and all, but create new ice cream flavors powerful? I dunno I dunno...I'm not questioning wheter or not that he kicks ass, just his power...I mean, has anyone here even seen him display his power? I hope he at least has the power to revive and/or spontaneously combust puppies.

([2] [love him so.])

[05 Jul 2004|02:04pm]

[ mood | sad panda mood ]

jake finally gave me the night on the twon he promised. it was excellent. a swell swell grand time. yesterday i practiced burning flags in his honor, as a sort of sacrifice. i stayed sober all night, prayed to my platinum statue 4 times before bed, and watched "lock, stock, and two smoking barrels" before falling alseep at about 1:30. someone must have done somthing to make him very upset because when i went to listen to the faint this morning on my computer, all of my faint songs were missing as well as over half of my recently started playlist. i dont know what i have done wrong. i have been worshipping jake regularly. what could have happened to make something like this happen?

([7] [love him so.])

MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! [04 Jul 2004|10:31am]

[ mood | satan - ish ]

to all those who follow jake:

this is chris boynton. i am to jake what satan is to god. every good god has to have a satan and i'm jake's. now it is time to start the revolution. who is tired of following jake? i know a few of you are, i've heard your thoughts, your complains. tell me when was the last time jake did something for you? seriously.. besides if you follow me i promise you free ice cream any flavor you want. come on now.

([8] [love him so.])

[02 Jul 2004|01:24pm]

[ mood | cheerful ]

well, here it is.

i think i have to go now.

i hate when he speaks these words.
it breaks my heart.
no no, it takes my heart, while still inside me, sandpapers it down, pats salt on it, leaves me in a hot room to suffer, then comes back and stabs it with an icicle.

i know he will always return.
but i still fear those words.

i talked to god last night for 2 hours.
best prayer ever.
i know he heard me.

i want to be his servant.
follow him through to his meetings with a palm tree and grapes wearing leetle sandals made of papyrus.

mating is all we are here on earth for, according to our god.
so go make as many babies as you can.

([5] [love him so.])

the mexican [01 Jul 2004|12:57pm]

This post is not about Jake. It is a post to his worshippers. Well, one in particular. That would be "the mexican." He has been pretty douche-y in this community, bitching about everyone not worshiping properly, or basicly being a giant kissass. Noone appreciates a brown noser, and I speak for all of us(includig "god"/jakob.) Therefore, stop being a douche-y brown noser. That or I will be forced to crush your mexican allies and such.

Bokaj promised Alisha and I a night on the town. Promises are meant to be kept, reguardless of how much we pray. I do worship daily, I just dont go on LJ daily, so, shut your hole mexican.

In conclusion, the new cure album/dvd is fabulous.

hail Ekaj

([7] [love him so.])

[30 Jun 2004|09:31pm]

donde esta jake? he owes dan a night on the town..

i got the new cure cd if jakob would like a copy.

([1] [love him so.])

[29 Jun 2004|11:09pm]

[ mood | gloomy ]

i love you and i miss you.

i called every unknown number in my phone to see if it was yours.

im going to go die now because i havent really talked to you in over a week.

p.s. i am going to wait until the half hour mark to see if you come back. 995.3060.

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